Proof that Pro Basketball Can Make You Stupid

Professional sports and many of its participants deserve our outrage. Not only should one be opposed to the monopolization that “pro” leagues have engendered, there should be strong contempt towards the unmerited and overblown influence and level of importance given to these organizations and their players.

Further justifying this indignation are the social platforms given to the bumbling ignoramuses and generally immoral ilk known as professional (meaning paid) athletes, who use said stages to advance all sorts of rubbish, which only serves to further stupefy society as a whole and drain it of its moral sensibilities. Colin Kaepernick, Stephen Curry, Greg Popovich, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Alex Rodriguez, Bruce Jenner, LeBron James, Martina Navratilova and others come to mind.

A new policy, instituted by the Miami Heat, serves as evidence that pro sports have become deleterious to American society. The NBA team has just announced that they are implementing a “mobile-only entry” system to their home games – meaning that the only way attendees will be able to watch a Heat game live is to present their “tickets” via smartphone. Paper tickets, meaning stubs or print outs, will no longer be accepted as proof of purchase.

In an official statement, the organization claims that they decided to implement the new system because, during the 2016-2017 season, a third of attendees chose to show their tickets via their smartphones instead of presenting traditional paper stubs. Alongside this mathematically retarded excuse (considering that, according to the Heat’s own statistics, 66 percent still chose to use paper tickets), the front office decided to offer as justification for the adoption of this new policy the typical modern day drivel of it being better for the environment and for improving “fan experience”.

Let’s forgo all pretenses and propaganda and mention the real reason for this strategy: the Miami Heat are looking to cut out the ticket middlemen, such as Ticketmaster, as well as intending to capitalize financially on the data they can collect from feeble fans.

Contemplate that the only way attendees will be able to obtain their digital vouchers is through the Miami Heat smartphone application. It is through said app that the Heat will also “get valuable information about the fan who actually winds up in a specific seat” – meaning that the organization will collect private data in order to interpret it for the team’s and the NBA’s use as well as sell it to third parties.

Now, cutting costs is not the repugnant thing here. Businesses are in business to make a profit. Cutting costs is a way to achieve that. The immorality lies in their obfuscating the real reasons for the new policy. It’s insulting to the intelligence, the way that the organization presents this system as being driven out of a supposed consideration for the fans and the environment, when, in fact, it is purely for the advantage of the NBA, the Heat, their affiliates and corporate sponsors. (Make no mistake, the NBA is using the Heat as a laboratory of sorts.)

Also immoral is how the organization seeks to push attendees towards smartphone usage, which, as noted above, will benefit the team financially. Some might question my logic, given that by all appearances this doesn’t seem to be a motivating factor. Like Christ stated, judge not according to appearances but with righteous judgment.

Please remember that not everyone owns a smartphone. Some own flip phones and a smaller minority do not carry a mobile phone at all. Many choose not to use their smartphones for ticket purchases. How are any of these individuals supposed to gain access to the arena, being that the Heat have moved to the “mobile-only” system? Ah, the caveat.

For those who desire to watch the games live but refuse to meet the team’s demands that all ticket purchasers present a smartphone, the organization will offer a singular entrance where those inflexible neanderthals can pay for entry. Imagine the long lines and wait times this will cause – yet, therein lies the point of the policy.

Make traditional entry so burdensome and inconvenient, attendees who need their pro basketball “fix” will acquiesce. Those who have smartphones but haven’t previously used them to download the team’s app and purchase and present tickets through it will begin using them for those reasons. Those who don’t own a smartphone will purchase one (no matter how cheap or costly the phone and plan), download the app and purchase tickets through it. In both cases, the team ends up augmenting the amount of personal data it can access, collect and sell.

Hitler and Edward Bernays would be proud of the way the NBA and Heat are intending to move the masses like cattle, diminishing the public’s options and thereby giving an already bloated and covetous corporation more control.

Beware of the amount of pro sports you digest. It could mean the difference between retaining your intelligence or becoming as smart as many pro athletes – which is to say, not at all.

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